If Words Could Kill, I'd Be Six Feet Under
by JamieluvsHHH
Summary: “I hate you.” Peyton had never expected the man she loved, and would do anything for to say such words to her. It felt as if he had just stabbed her in the heart with a stake. Nothing could possibly hurt as much as this. Based on 5x17


Warning: **May Contain Spoilers for the season finale**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. One Tree Hill, and the writers own them and the storyline this story is based on.

A/N: This is my first OTH fic and I would really appreciate feedback. Let me know how I did. That would totally make my week ;)

Oh, and as of right now this is just a Oneshot, but if I figure out where I want to go with this, I'll continue.

Enjoy!

* * *

Thank God she had found him in time; she had never seen him so wasted before. She could only imagine if she hadn't drug him out of that club and gotten him home where he would've ended up. Actually, she really didn't want to imagine anything bad happening to him. That would just break her.

So she took care of him, just like he had always done for her. She removed his jacket and shoes, and laid him on the bed.

He must've thought she was doing something else because, in his drunken state, he had tried to kiss her. She protested, telling him to sleep it off. She didn't want him to regret anything in the morning. That would make everything between them even weirder.

She stayed with him for a few hours while he slept. Before she finally left, she bent down, and kissed him on the forehead, smiling to herself. When she got to the door, she heard him call out her name.

"Peyton.."

She stopped, and stared at him; waiting patiently for him to say whatever he needed to say.

"I hate you"

Peyton had never expected the man she loved, and would do anything for to say such words to her. It felt as if he had just stabbed her in the heart with a stake. Nothing could possibly hurt as much as this.

She stood there in shock as he turned his head and went back to sleep. She could feel the tears burning at the back of her eyes, but she was determined not to let them fall. She quietly slid out of the door, and to her car. She got in, turned on the ignition and drove into the night; having no idea in the world where she was going.

She needed to clear her head, to think. Maybe she could skip town, make everyone's life easier. Especially Lucas' because it was obvious he didn't want her around.

He was drunk, but she couldn't blame him for saying what he said. She would hate herself too if she were him. She was the reason he didn't have the one person that he truly loved, Lindsey.

She tried so hard to just back off, and be happy for him, but she somehow managed to mess everything up.

He had every right in the world to hate her. But damn if it didn't hurt to actually hear him say it. When he called her name, she was expecting a 'thanks', or hell, even a 'goodnight' just not those three little words he had said.

She felt sick all of a sudden. Her stomach was turning in knots, and her head was hurting like _she_ had had a few too many drinks.

How could he say that? Did he mean it?

Of course he meant it. Lucas Scott wasn't one to say something he didn't mean, even if he was drunk.

But, that was the thing; he wasn't much of a drinker, and yet something sent him so deep into depression that he drowned all of his feelings in booze. Whatever happened, it had to had been pretty upsetting to get him to that level. Must've been something concerning Lindsey.

Lindsey, Peyton hated the sound of her name now. She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't help it. _Lindsey_ took her Lucas away from her. _Lindsey_ turned her Lucas against her, made him hate her. _Lindsey_ ruined Peyton's life, turned it upside down.

But, at the same time, Peyton knew deep down that she didn't hate her; could never hate her. She's just too damn nice of a person to hate, no matter how hard you try. And Peyton certainly did try…

She pulled over on the dark side of the road, turning the car off. She laid her head on top of the steering wheel, and cried, not caring that it was late at night and that the road she was currently parked on was extremely dark and deserted.

When she looked up, a few minutes later, she looked around trying to figure out her surroundings. She turned the car back on, then looked straight ahead, and saw the sign.

_Now Leaving Tree Hill._

* * *

Morning came and Peyton found herself asleep on a couch. She didn't remember driving to Brooke's house, but somehow she did because here she was lying on her couch.

Brooke walked out of the kitchen, a mug in each hand.

"Hey, P. Sawyer. How're you holding up?" She asked, offering her one of the mugs of coffee.

Peyton sat up, and made room for her to sit down; taking the mug from her. She took a sip and sat the mug in her lap. "What are you talking about?"

Brooke looked hurt. "Peyton, you know damn well what I'm talking about…"

"No, I don't" She interrupted.

"I'm talking about what happened between you and Lucas last night. You know, how he said that he hated you?"

Now it was Peyton's turn to look hurt. She looked away from her friend, trying her best not to break down. "How do you know about that?"

"He's been calling here like crazy. And I when I finally answered it, he told me about it. Peyt, look at me," she placed her hand on the blonde's, waiting for her to turn to her before continuing "He sounded really upset. You know he didn't mean it, he was drunk"

Peyton snorted. "Oh, what a wonderful excuse for his behavior. He obviously wasn't too damn drunk if he remembered what he did last night. He tried to _kiss_ me, and then turned around and said that he _hates_ me" she said, exasperated "He _hates_ me Brooke, and he meant it".

Brooke shook her head. "No, go talk to him. He doesn't hate you, he could never hate you Peyt. He loves you, but he's just a guy, you know? He's got this wall built up and he's afraid that if he lets his guards down, he's going to get hurt again".

She felt as if Brooke was taking his side over hers, and she didn't like that. Before she could say something, there was a knock at the door. The two looked at each other, before Brooke got up to go answer it.

It was Lucas standing on the other side of the door, holding a bouquet of flowers. Peyton wanted to hide under her covers, but felt that would be a bit childish.

He walked into the house, staring at Peyton, a nervous look on his face.

"Well, I'll leave you two to talk" Brooke said, walking out of the room.

She stood, folding her arms across her chest. "So, you're here to talk? Well I think you said enough last night"

"I'm so sorry Peyton, I don't know what I was thinking when I said that"

"No, don't be sorry Luke. You were just being honest, nothing wrong with that" She said, voice dripping with bite and sarcasm.

He held out the flowers he had been clutching on to towards her. "I got these for you, I know they're your favorite. And again, I want to say that I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you"

She took the flowers, and held them to her side "Oh… okay, don't worry, everything's fine because Lucas bought me some flowers and said he was sorry for _finally_ telling me hates me. No, I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. I helped you. I could've left your drunk ass in that club, but I didn't because I love… I cared for you Luke" she sighed "Now I don't know what to feel towards you"

Lucas' mouth felt dry, like cotton. He licked his lips. He had never seen her so hurt, and it was because of him. "I'm sorry" He said softly.

She shook her head, becoming annoyed by his very presence "You sound like a broken record. You keep saying you're sorry, but I don't think you really mean it. I think you're just saying it to clear your conscience for hurting me. I don't… just, please Luke, go"

He turned to the door, and without a word, he was gone.

She let the flowers fall to the floor, and she sat back down on the couch, head in her hands, and cried.

* * *

The next day, Peyton decided to drive over to see Lucas. She felt bad about how she treated him the day before. He apologized, and she threw it right back in his face.

She drove up to the front, and got out. She knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked a few more times. Still no answer. She didn't want to call his cell phone because she knew he wouldn't answer.

She needed to find him though, she wasn't going home until she did. She got back into her car, and called Haley.

"Hales, have you seen Lucas? I really need to talk him" Peyton said, worried that something might've happened to him.

"I really don't know how to tell you this Peyton"

Now she was _really_ starting to freak out. "Tell me what? What happened?"

"He's in Las Vegas with Lindsey. They're getting married after all"

Peyton dropped the phone in her lap. Her hands felt numb.

"You still there?" She could hear Haley say.

She picked up the phone again. "I have to go" she said suddenly, hanging up.

Those words somehow hurt more than "I hate you". There really was no future for them now, and she was back to having to pretend to be happy.

She cried while she drove down that same road she did two nights ago. She stopped again, reading the huge sign.

_Now Leaving Tree Hill_

She drove right past the sign, there was no looking back now.


End file.
